


In the Still of the Night - An Ignis Tale

by Feral_Female



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: AU, Angst, Gay Romance, Gay Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 19:13:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11168301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feral_Female/pseuds/Feral_Female
Summary: A one-shot dealing with Ignis searching for his identity after losing his sight. Can love lead him back to being the man he felt he was before?





	In the Still of the Night - An Ignis Tale

**Final Fantasy XV**

**In the Still of the Night**

**An Ignis Tale**

 

*~*~*

 

“No, man, really, it’s good.”

I gave the young king a dismissive snort as I threw the meal that I’d prepared into the camp fire. Plate and all went into the flames. It was a fitting end for an ignoble meal.

“Ignis, really, it’s okay. We love beans, don’t we guys?” Prompto said with a touch too much enthusiasm. “And these are way better than the ones you made last night. They’re not even sticking to the roof of my mouth like last nights did.”

I pushed to my feet, took a step toward the tent, and tripped over one of Glad’s massive boots. Everyone shouted. I twisted and writhed in a wild attempt to not join my dinner in the fire pit. Glad managed to get a strong hand to my upper arm, tugging me to the left. My knee and elbow took the brunt of the tumble as my dark glasses bounced off my nose and flew I know not where.

“Ignis, are you okay?” Noct, Prompto, and Gladiolus all asked, each of them trying to help me from the ground. I swatted at all three and rose on my own accord, the heat of shame rushing up my neck to my cheeks.

“I’m fine,” I curtly replied, not daring to take a step lest I tromp down on my glasses. Someone gently placed my wayward spectacles into my hand. I shoved them into place on my face to help hide the scars and then felt my way to my tent.

“Ignis, why don’t you use your cane?” Glad asked from behind me, his deep voice rolling over the forested site we’d pitched our tents in.

“Goodnight,” I told them then zipped the flap on the tent shut, effectively shutting off their care and concern.

“Man, I feel so bad for him,” Prompto whispered. “Ow! What was that for?”

“His ears still work,” Noctis hissed as the sound of scuffling feet mingled with snapping wood. I turned from my friends, the smells of wood smoke and burnt beans thick in my nose. I was utterly useless now. On the morrow, I would demand that I be driven to the nearest town and left there.

What service could I now provide my liege? I could not fight nor drive. Hell, I couldn’t open a can of beans without assistance. A blind boulder was what I now was. Tied to their ankles, slowing them down and endangering them with my handicap. They fell into whispers, talking of me, no doubt. Ignis Scientia, advisor to the heir apparent, was no longer the man he once was. I wondered if I were a man at all now…

I took a step then two, hands in front of me, until the toe of my boot caught on the sleeping bag lying on the ground. Another awkward fumble. Another silent obscenity hurled at the Fates for my accursed state.

“You okay in there, Ig?” Gladiolus called from the nearby pit.

Perhaps the obscenity wasn’t silent after all.

“All is well,” I answered, then dropped to my knees on my bag. It was a dark blue bag. I remembered its coloring well. Royal blue with white piping. A quality camping accessory for one who advises and protects our king. It was far above my worth now, yet I was too weak to sleep on the damp ground. Dropping to my knees, I pulled off one boot and then another, placing them neatly by where I would rest my head. Knowing where everything was in my surroundings was now vitally important not only for my health – as was witnessed by my almost tumbling into the roaring fire – but for what remained of my pride.

I stripped sluggishly, folding my clothes, then placing them where I could find them with ease. Mind and heart heavy, I slipped into my sleeping bag, removed my glasses, and put them inside my left boot. Then, as I did every night since the battle with the goddess Leviathan, I allowed the walls I held in firmly in place around my emotions down for just a moment. I wept in silence for all that we had lost, my eyesight just a small fraction of the grief. Then, after a few wracking seconds, I dashed at the dampness on my face, reminded myself of who I was, and set myself firmly on the new course my life would take come morning.

 

****

“Ig, we are _not_ leaving you behind.”

“Yes, Gladiolus, you are. I insist. I’ve fumbled about endangering your lives for long enough now.” Noctis tried to interrupt but I spoke over him. It was horribly rude to steamroll the man who would sit the throne of Lucis, but they all had to be made to see reason. “I’ll serve my liege in other ways.”

“Which would be what, exactly?” Noct asked. I could picture the dark-haired prince – king now – so clearly in my mind. He’d be wearing that angered look he’d perfected as a titled and horribly spoiled young royal. Arms folded over his chest, Prompto at his side as always, nodding his golden head. Probably Glad stood behind them, shielding our king from a possible strike from behind. Yes, I could see them all clearly in my memory. I sorely missed being able to gaze upon them…or anything else.

“I wish to find a culinary school that will instruct me in how to cook without setting myself ablaze.” I plastered on a smile that felt reedy even to me.

“But you’ll be all alone and helpless here. Ouch! Why does everyone keep pinching me?” Prompto asked and was summarily hushed by the other two.

“What blondie meant to say was--” Glad began.

I cut him off with a chuckle that was a fake as the smile had been. “No need to apologize for the lad. I’m aware he meant no harm. And yes, I’ll be alone for days or perhaps weeks, but this is something I must do,” I told them. They grunted and mumbled in reply. “I need find myself again, for I have lost the man I used to be forever. The new Ignis must be unearthed and I cannot endanger you as I search for him.”

“Ig, please…” Noctis softly begged. It was hard for me to deny the king anything. I’d spent so much time at his side but I was firm on this.

“I’ve made up my mind. And I will be fine. Go. Take care of the things the locals need help with. It is your duty as their king now to attend to their needs before those of your friends, family, and yourself. I will be here, flipping burnt eggs and charring the beans, when you return from your hunting.”

“It won’t be the same without you behind the wheel,” Noctis said, trying one last time to wheedle me into changing my mind.

“I shall never be behind the wheel of the Regalia again. It is time for all of us to accept that.” I reached out to touch my king and found nothing but air. Noctis stepped close and gave me a brief but intense hug. The others clapped my shoulder then ambled off. I stood my ground outside the tasteful hotel I’d be calling home for the rest of my life, and waved at them, leaning on my cane with my free hand.

The engine of the Regalia rolled over, the roar of the powerful engine as familiar to me as my own heartbeat. I hoped that Gladiolus kept a tight rein on the lads, and the speed at which they liked to travel.

“Bye, Iggy!” Prompto shouted as they pulled off.

I continued to wave until I could no longer hear the car’s engine. Then I turned and navigated the few steps leading into the hotel, my cane tapping steadily. A young lad offered his assistance navigating Lestallaum, which I turned down. Was I now akin to some elderly old women who required help crossing the street? Gah. I’d never been happier to locate my room, the metallic number four tacked on the door a bitter shot in the gut. I ran my fingers over the number, inhaled deeply, and entered my room, locking the door firmly in the face of the world.

****

 

Hunger pushed me from the darkness I’d sequestered myself in.

How long I’d sat in my room, doors to the patio open, I could not say. I’d felt the warmth of the sun moving over me and then the cool brush of an evening breeze on my face. When I went to stand to use the bathroom, my legs cramped and my back ached. The room was unfamiliar to me so I moved through it with caution, using my cane to navigate around tables and ottomans.

The bath was small with only a sink, shower stall in the corner, and a toilet. I could easily pick up the smell of cleanser as well as a dollop of bleach when I stepped up to the commode. Hopefully, my aim was true. Perhaps an extra gratuity for the cleaning staff daily would be the norm. It was beyond the pale, truly. A grown man worrying about if he pissed on the floor like a toddler first leaning how to hold his cock. One never truly appreciated their sight until it was gone. Of course, that could be said for any multitude of things.

I shook and zipped, then felt about on the counter until I located the taps and a bar of soap resting on a dish. No sooner had I gotten a bit of lather going and the soap slipped from my slickery hands. I heard it hit the tile floor and bounce.

“Son of an Imperial whore,” I snarled, fingers dripping with foam, too scared to take a step.

The crushing weight of being helpless dropped down on me like a boulder. There was no Gladiolus to lift the pylon of despair off me either. Using my trousers as a towel I shuffled to the door like an octogenarian, unable to lift their feet. Perhaps the wisest thing for me to do would be to keep shuffling until I hit the patio then simply fall over the short railing. I was four stories up. The fall should kill me. They’d rule it accidental since I was a bumbling blind man and that would be that.

I contemplated it for some time. To this day, I am not sure what kept me from making that dive. Some sort of self-preservation instinct perchance? Maybe my sense of loyalty to Noctis and the others kept me from ending it all. Or perhaps I was simply too much the coward…

Whatever the cause, I made my way to the door, fingers trailing over the smooth walls, and then I stepped into the hall. Music and voices rose from the first floor. Wickedly arousing smells that made my stomach tighten and snarl also wafted up the narrow stairwells. One step down at a time, fingertips in constant contact with both walls, I found my way down the stairs until I stood in the lobby. Now I had no idea what to do or how to proceed. My cane was in my room, propped in the bathroom by the loo.

I stood at the bottom of the steps, feeling every bit the idiot, when someone spoke to me. A man. Youngish. To my left.

“Do you need some help?” His voice was familiar. Deep, strong, slightly accented as all were in Eos.

I swallowed my pride. “I’m afraid I left my cane in my room. Could you guide me to the dining hall?”

“Of course.” He touched my elbow and a pleasant tingling travelled to my shoulder. “You don’t remember me, do you?”

“I – ah- no. No, I’m sorry, I do not. My vision is impaired,” I stupidly told him. Obviously, the man knew I was blind or he’d not be helping me to the dining hall. As we walked the sounds and smells amplified. Silverware hitting plates, the clink of ice cubes in glasses, women laughing, men talking, the sizzle of meat on an open flame.

“I know. I sold you herbs and spices a week or so ago. My father owns a large stall at the outdoor market.”

“Darren Bastian,” I murmured as we moved deeper into the dining area.

“That’s right. I’m surprised that a royal escort would recall the name of an herb pedaling commoner,” Darren said then gently led me around a square table then eased me into a hard chair.

“I am an escort no longer.” I wasn’t sure why I was telling this stranger that, but it tumbled out of me.

“If it’s not too presumptuous, I’d love to eat dinner with you.”

I looked up in the general direction of Darren the herbalist. “And why would you wish to do that?”

“Because I enjoy spending time with beautiful men.” A second or two clocked off as he and I both weighed his comment. “Do you enjoy spending time with beautiful men?”

“I do, yes.” Another tick or two of time for us to digest that pronouncement. “But, I’m afraid that any beauty I may have possessed is now but a memory.”

His chair legs scraped softly along the wooden floor as he sat beside me. “I beg to differ.”

****

Darren poured us more wine as a musician plucking a tune on a small string instrument wandered past.

“So, Ignis, can you tell me what herbs were used as a rub for your meat? Your goblet is on the right at one o’clock.”

I reached out and found the glass smoothly. “Thank you,” I murmured then lifted the goblet to my lips. The wine was earthy, firm, and served with just a slight chill. It left my mouth feeling dry. I made sure to place my wine glass back where it had been. Someone across the room was whispering to their dinner companion about his wife. I tuned that out and focused on what remained of my meal. I’d eaten more tonight than I had since I’d lost my sight. The wine had loosened me up while Darren’s soft, gentle humor had lifted the cloud I’d been moving under.

“There was mustard, onion powder, a sprinkle of Schier turmeric and flavored salt. It would have made an excellent rub for fish. Perhaps it would complement the meat of a Vespar gar well.”

“You do know your spices,” he warmly chuckled.

“One learns quickly when one is on the road with three ravenous men and nothing to eat but a slab of questionable trevally fillet and a few tubers,” I replied with a smile. It felt odd to smile. I sat back and tried to imagine what my dinner companion might look like.

“I have blue eyes and black hair.” I blinked stupidly. “You were studying me pretty intently.”

“My apologies.”

“No need to apologize. I’ve been sitting here staring at your mouth for the past forty minutes trying to imagine what you’d taste like with those spices lingering on your tongue.”

There was an invitation there. It was as tempting as the meal and wine we’d just shared. Perhaps more so as it had been so long since my last assignation with a man. None of my traveling mates knew of my sexual preferences. Discussing whom one bedded seemed tacky to me, also, it set a bad precedence for the prince to hear his advisor speaking thusly. It was not a matter of my being homosexual that kept me silent. It was my role in Noctis’ life to teach him how a royal is expected to behave. I believe in teaching by example.

Also, I wasn’t the gregarious sort like Gladiolus who’d talk up anyone anywhere then sneak off with them. We were all aware that Glad was unapologetically bisexual. We’d witnessed him seducing both male and female with his appealing smile and dynamic personality. The fact that he was massively muscled and covered with ink added to his appeal to both genders. But I kept my cards much closer to my vest. That was just my way.

“Did I step over the line?” Darren asked, his voice jarring me from my mental meander.

“No, not at all.” I lifted the cloth napkin from my thighs then dabbed at my mouth. I could feel his eyes on me, caressing me. My body began to respond. That would never do in a public place such as this. “I could use some assistance getting back to my room.”

“Let me help you back to your room. Perhaps we can find your cane.”

“Yes, perhaps we can.”

I tossed my napkin over my empty plate. Darren took my elbow. The jolt of lust that raced up my arm was much more powerful than before. The smell of the man at my side battered away any of the lingering smells of the dining hall. As we walked and made small talk, I tried to pick apart the differing scents of his cologne. When I picked up the subtle smell of cinnamon, I realized that he smelled of the herbs and spices he handled. Would his skin taste of them as well? I was looking forward to finding out.

The climb to the fourth floor seemed quite long, but finally, we were stepping into my room. I reached out to the right to find the wall, Darren’s hand still on my arm.

“Let me find the light for you,” I said as I trailed my fingertips along the wallpaper. His hand slid down from my elbow to my wrist. He tugged gently. I flipped on the lights then turned to face him. His breath fluttered over my face. Tendrils of sexual energy snapped and leaped from him to me, making the short jump with ease. His chest now brushed mine. I jumped when his hand touched my cheek.

“Sorry, does it hurt still?” He asked with concern.

“No, there’s no pain now but I’d not have you look upon the scars…”

He lifted the dark glasses from my face. I pulled in a shaky breath and waited. Surely the man would leave after seeing how marred I truly was. The glasses helped hide a goodly portion of the scarring.

“How did you suffer this injury?” He enquired as he tentatively touched the scars with two fingers. I forced myself not to jerk back or lash out.

“During the battle with the goddess Leviathan…” I drew in a breath to continue, but Darren softly spoke over me.

“So, you were injured and sacrificed your sight to save the people of this land.” He cupped my cheek, his thumb by the corner of my mouth, his fingertips tracing the scarring that trickled down my cheek. “You are a hero, Ignis. A warrior injured while protecting his country and the people who reside in it is a man worth praise and sonnets.”

“I – I never thought of it in that manner,” I confessed then pressed myself to him from chest to thigh, suddenly madly eager to have his mouth on mine. His erection was evident. I ground my cock against his, pulling a deep moan from the man. “Kiss me, won’t you?”

“Are you always this refined and polite?”

“It was my duty to raise the prince properly. Old habits die hard,” I replied.

He chuckled then tipped my head and captured my mouth. I opened for him wantonly, grabbing at his hips and jerking the man as close as one could get and not be inside the other. A shudder of want coursed through me as the image of him sliding into me flared to life in my mind. I ran my tongue over his. He answered with equal hunger. We danced around the room, him trying to steer me around footstools and tables while feasting on my mouth. I was greedy. Terribly greedy and rough with his clothing, yanking and pulling, popping seams, and ripping buttons free. The man tasted divine, his tongue carrying the strong spices of his meal. He was bigger than me, sturdier and stockier, but finely muscled from hard work outdoors.

“You’re so lean and hard. Perfectly made,” he panted when we broke apart to get my shirt over my head. Hands on my hips, he pushed me in reverse. “I won’t let you trip,” he assured me when I tensed. The bed bumped the back of my knees. My cock kicked violently in my pants, straining for freedom. “You need to be naked.”

“Yes, yes, as do you.” He kissed me again, sweeping deeply into my mouth. We hastily peeled the pants off the other then dropped into my bed. The mattress enveloped us. Darren settled between my legs, his prick now right beside mine. He placed fluttery kissed over my brow, nose, and eyes. Kissing each scar while whispering how brave I was, how beautiful I was, how smart and sexy I was. “Even your hair color is perfect.”

I arched up. He hissed in pleasure when my cock bounced off his. “Please,” I grunted, my hands massaging his bare ass. “Please get inside me.”

He licked at the corner of my mouth. I chased his kiss. He ground his hips tightly to mine. A low, rumbling moan slipped out of me then another and yet one more. Each rolling pump of his hips pushed me closer to a release I did not wish to have yet.

“Do you have protection?” I breathlessly asked as he suckled loudly on my neck.

“Yes, now let me take care of you for a change, Ignis. Seems you always care for others.”

I exhaled then let myself go. Darren touched and tasted at his leisure. I ran my palms over his broad shoulders then pushed them into his hair. It was thick, short on the sides but longer in the back in a similar fashion as Glad’s. He teased the head of my cock with light kisses but never took me into his mouth. Instead, he sucked and nipped on my stomach or hip bone as he toyed with my ass. I pressed up against his hand, eager for him to breech me. I so needed to be loved and admired. It was pitiful, I know, but every whispered word of admiration from him filled a tiny bit of the gaping hole in my soul.

“Now, please, I need you inside me now,” I brashly demanded. He pressed the tip of a finger into me. I cried out in pleasure, my balls tightening dangerously. “Ah, gods above, I’m close. Please, now. Get into me now.”

He kissed my mouth hard then left the bed. My body had barely cooled when he was back, gently pressing my writhing hips flat to the bedding then climbing over me. I wrapped my legs around him, hooked my ankles at the small of his back, and rotated my hips, offering myself to him without care of how it might appear. I grabbed his thick forearms as he pressed the round head of prick against my ass. His cock slid in just a bit. A tremor ran through me, heating my skin.

“I’ll be gentle,” he vowed and he was. He entered me in small increments despite my assurances that I needed him to go faster and deeper.

“If you touch me, I’m done,” I whimpered when he was fully seated in me, his fingers toying with my balls.

“Then be done, Ignis,” he huffed and grabbed my cock. It was embarrassing how quickly I came. With just a few hard strokes, Darren tugged me over the precipice. Semen dotted my chest and stomach, lubricating his palm, and intensifying the already staggering orgasm. Then he began to move, stroking my still kicking prick as he withdrew and then slid back in. His rhythm was slow at first, but within a few deep strokes, he also seemed to unable to control his release. He rocked into me, stealing my breath at his depth. He rolled his hips and I cried out at the pain/pleasure of it all.

“My gods above,” he growled when he fell over me. I reached up for him, finding his damp head, then drew his lips to mine. He huffed and groaned into my mouth. I licked at his lips and teeth, urging him to kiss me back. He did, rubbing his tongue over mine as his prick throbbed and pulsed within me. I held his head tightly as we tasted each other.

“Magnificent.” I murmured over his lips. He grunted with pride. “May I touch your face?”

“You have to ask permission to touch my face when I’m balls deep in your ass?”

“Oh, well, yes, I do see your point,” I chortled before taking another lengthy tour of his mouth.

“I love how proper you are,” he said, then pulled out and fell beside me after taking care of the used condom by dropping it into the waste bin by the bed.

I rolled to my side, my legs tangling in the wet sheet, and patted around until I found his head. He moved to his side to face me. I ran my fingers over his face, taking time to map out his features, trying to get an image in my mind of this new lover. His brow was high, his nose long, and his cheekbones prominent. His lashes were rich and thick, his bottom lip lush. I ran my fingertips along a strong jaw covered with stubble.

“You have a classically handsome face,” I said after I had sated my curiosity.

“As do you.” He pulled the covers up over our rapidly chilling bodies. “Do you mind if I grab an hour or two of sleep before I go? My father’s not well and I was up at dawn to help truck today’s shipments into town.”

“Sleep here as long as you wish.” I let my hand slide from his cheek to his shoulder then down a well-muscled arm.

“How would you feel about a breakfast date? I could take you to my place across town and show you how amazing an omelet with fresh leeks and a sprinkle of dried onion and dill tastes.” He wiggled closer then dropped his arm over my hip.

“I think that would be lovely.” He stole a kiss and then fell into a soft but deep sleep. I lay there listening to him breathe, and felt sleep lapping at my shores, as well. For the first time since that day my world had gone dark, I didn’t dream of being trapped in a well filled with water as I tried – and failed - to keep my head above the murky depths.

The heat of the sun shining on my face greeted me upon waking. As did Darren’s roaming hand.

“I’ve never slept with a man who owned legs as long as yours,” he said against my shoulder while he rubbed a small circle on my stomach. I slid one of my legs out of the knot of legs under the cover. “That wasn’t a complaint. I love how long-limbed you are.” He nipped along my neck, his prick pressing against my buttock. It was a most pleasant way to greet a new day. “What would you rather do first? Make love or eat?”

“Surprise me,” I sighed, eager to see which he chose. We had brunch.

****

Four weeks passed in a blink of an eye.

That’s clichéd, I know, but truly, those thirty days disappeared in a whirlwind of sex, laughter, cooking, and caresses. Darren had pulled me away from the ledge – or the railing – of despair, one gentle touch or compliment at a time. He took me to his home, a small place with only one small bedroom and an even smaller bath, and spent time easing me into retraining my mind.

“The trick is going to be having things always in the same place,” he told me one morning as we whipped up a cheese soufflé. His arms were around my waist, his lips beside my ear, his big chest firmly against my back.

“Yes, I was beginning to realize that,” I replied, as he took my hand and led it to the spices that we’d arranged alphabetically on a shelf beside the stove.

“Nice,” he said when my fingers zeroed in on the ground mustard.

“How do you know so much about being blind and navigating a kitchen?” I asked as I took a pinch of the spice and sprinkled it into the whipped egg yolks, cheddar, and gruyere cheese.

“My grandmother lost her sight to a degenerative disease. She lived to cook, so we both worked on learning new ways for her to return to the thing she loved the most. You taste so good,” he murmured after giving my neck a lick.

“Ah, now I understand.” His fingers crept into the waist band of my lounge plants. My stirring got slightly less precise. “Are you never sated?”

He chuckled then took hold of my rapidly plumping cock. “I could ask you the same, Ignis.”

My phone rang just as I dropped the whisk and planned to turn in his arms to savor a taste of him. He’d gotten in late last night and had to return to help his ailing father in the market come noon. Our time was limited to late night romps and early morning cooking lessons as his duties with his father’s business grew. I resented the call coming in during our time alone in the kitchen yet I had to pick up. It was Noctis calling. I knew his ringtone well.

“I must answer that.” I told Darren then wiggled away from his skilled hand. “It’s the king.”

“Then you best pick up.” He began whipping the eggs. I wished I could see his face. His voice was measured and calm but I felt a nip in the air. This kitchen was familiar to me now and I moved around the room with ease, finding my phone lying on the counter beside a lovely dough machine. The man loved preparing food as much as I did. That, I’d found out, was only one of the many things we shared a love of.

“Hello. Noctis,” I said as soon as the call came through. It was good to hear his voice. I smiled at the energy our young king was showing. He, too, had suffered a great loss. Many losses, to be honest, and at such a tender age. His mettle would be tested greatly many times over before our trip reached its conclusion, I feared. “Yes, I’m still alive. Tomorrow? Yes, I am quite excited to hear you’re returning.”

Darren whipped the eggs a bit harder. I turned to look in his direction as Noctis talked at me. I knew that I would be going with my friends when they set off again. It was my duty and my purpose, but Darren was now a part of my life as well. Thinking of leaving him behind filled me with incredible sorrow. Prompto shouting in my ear jarred me back to the here and now.

“I’m quite looking forward to hearing the tales. Yes. Tomorrow morning. I’ll be waiting. Until then.” I ended the call then placed my phone to the counter where it had been before. Everything in its place. Darren had drummed that into my head.

“You’re whipping the yolks into submission,” I pointed out. The sound of the whisk assaulting the eggs stopped.

“I knew this day would come,” he said on an exhalation. I made my way to him and embraced him from behind just as he had held me a moment ago. “You’ve come a long way, Ignis. The king needs you.”

I pressed a kiss under his ear. “I wish to come back as often as I can to see you. I care deeply for you. You’ve done so much for me… showed me that there was life that needed living when I felt otherwise.”

He spun in my arms, took my head between his hands, and kissed me ardently. I palmed his cock through his sleeping pants. He grunted in what I took to be agreement of my actions.

“Breakfast can wait?” I asked, knowing full well we’d never get to eat if we left the kitchen for the bedroom.

“Yes, it can,” he agreed, tugging me back to his rumpled bed. We both were fevered in our desire to touch and taste each other. I needed to commit him to memory. The sounds he made as I sucked his cock, the groans of pleasure as I took him from behind, the muted cries of our releases when we came. Every sound, every texture, every smell and taste I locked into my mind to keep me warm on those cold, lonely nights on the road.

“I love you,” I whispered into his sweaty back as I lay over him, gasping and trembling.

“I love you, as well.” He wiggled out from under me then vined himself around me, pulling me to the bed in a knot of arms and legs as he captured my mouth. “I’m a bit envious of Eos. This country and its throne will always be your first love.”

“I will come back. I promise you this,” I vowed.

We made love again. Darren went off unfed. I returned to my hotel, the route as familiar to me now as breathing, to begin packing my belongings. During that long day and night, I thought to call him a thousand times. In the end, I never did, for parting again would be twice as agonizing. The sun rose to find me in lounging in that lone stuffed chair in front of the open patio doors, legs stretched out before me, hands on my stomach, waiting.

I’d dressed myself, picking the shirts from the hangers which had been hung in lots of color that ran alphabetically. The same with my trousers. How I’d look once we were traveling and living out of duffel bags remained to be seen. Perhaps my friends would point out if my clothing clashed. Yes, I was sure at least Prompto would make mention of it. A weak smile pulled at the side of my mouth. It would be good to be among them again, yet I ached for Darren. How cruel the Fates were to give me a man to love when the future of this country hung in the balance. Why had I not found him years ago?

I closed my eyes and let the morning sun warm my face. There was no point in wallowing in ‘what if’ and ‘what could have been’. Our lives had joined but a month ago. It would serve me better to recall the good times and use the skills he had shown me.

“Iggy! Dude, I see you up there!” I startled a bit at Prompto’s shout, then grinned and pushed to my feet, grabbing my cane and my travel bags.

My friends were barely out of the Regalia when I stepped out onto the cobblestone street. I was swallowed up in hugs. Glad took my bags, Prompto and Noctis talking endlessly as we tried to fit my belongings into the already packed trunk.

“What is this?” Gladiolus asked after trying to wedge the bag with my spices and herbs into the trunk. “Ig, really, can we take the jars out of the shelf?”

“No, we cannot.” I stepped to the car, using the bumper on my knee to guide me, and lifted the long bag I’d placed the shelf Darren had presented me with from his hands. “These spices must be kept in alphabetical order lest we end up with chili powder on our applesauce instead of cinnamon.”

“You’re cooking again?” Noctis enquired tentatively. I nodded. A resounding cheer from my companions bounced off the stone walls and streets the new sun was warming.

“Glad burns everything,” Noctis confessed.

“He throws food on the fire and then walks off to play with his sword,” Prompto whispered in my ear. “And that’s not a euphemism.”

“Standing right here,” Gladiolus snapped then slammed the trunk. I snickered at the banter. I had so missed this. “Uh, Ig, I think someone is looking to talk to you.”

I turned to face the sun and picked up Darren’s spicy scent on the warming air currents. I walked to him, my cane resting on the fender of the Regalia, and I wrapped my arms around him.

“I couldn’t let you go without seeing you one more time,” he told me, his words sweet puffs of air on my face.

“I promise you that I shall return to you.” I kissed him with all the ardor in my heart. Darren held me tight, almost desperately, his fingers clinging to the shirt I had donned this morning. He broke the kiss. I rested my brow to his. “I will come back to you. Wait for me.”

“Always, Ignis.”

Someone at the Regalia coughed discreetly. I took a step back from Darren. He touched my cheek. Turning from him was painful, yet I did it.

Not a peep was heard from Noct, Glad, or Prompto until we had put at least twenty miles on the odometer. Noctis tapped my leg. I glanced at our king, the wind blowing my hair into my face.

“I never knew you were gay,” he said.

“I never felt the need to advertise my sexuality,” I replied, hoping that this would be the end of the discussion.

“You love him?” the young king asked, his voice thick with emotion and loss. I nodded. The two in front were silent, listening intently, I was sure. This kind of display made me terribly uncomfortable. “Then, when this is over, I expect to be invited to your wedding.”

“Yes, your majesty,” I whispered as the car bounced over a lumpy bit of road.

“Ig, I’m serious. You don’t let anything stop you, okay? It’s…losing your heart’s desire is…”

“I know.” I reached out to find his hand resting on his thigh. He wound his fingers with mine and squeezed tightly.

“He’s cute,” Glad interjected.

“Totally cute!” Prompto agreed. “If I were into guys, I’d date him. What? I would. I mean, if he wasn’t already with Iggy and had boobs. _What?_ Is there something wrong with boobs?”

“Not in my book!” Glad replied, quickly pulling a choked sort of snort from Noctis.

“ _Well_ …” I softly commented and the others in the car laughed, even the heartbroken king clinging to my hand.

 

**The End**


End file.
